You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
