im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
