so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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