Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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