if you like me you must not know who I am
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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