biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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