So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
