if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
