I CAN MOONWALK!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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