What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
