idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
