I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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