but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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