This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Quick, to the slutcave!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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