i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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