Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
