My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
