Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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