super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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