If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
