There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize