He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Randomize