I hope mine doesn't look like that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
