I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we're so committed to being not committed
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