i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
