I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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