During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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