the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
