Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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