Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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