Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize