Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
