I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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