K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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