i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
