Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
