I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
