fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
