Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
