I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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