no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
