What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
