"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
