he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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