My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
