he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
