I think I died a long time ago.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
