'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
