Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
