Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
