Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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