You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
