I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
