apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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