I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
