Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize