At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Never underestimate the power of titties
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