She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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