im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
