Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Please, let me fuck your mom
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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