I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize