Already got asked if we're dating
are you still at the devil's house?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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