I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just had sex on a roof
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
