why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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