my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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