I want to stick my p in your. b.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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