Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize