i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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