Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize