Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
