Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
