i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
