I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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